Embracing Change

January 26, 2017January 26, 20171 Comment

Change, why are we so afraid of it? Change is inevitably part of life and one of the most important aspects of personal growth. If you’re like me, you love the comforts of home and routine, knowing exactly what to expect on a day to day basis. Something I have realized is no matter how comfortable and routine my life may seem, change always seems to sneak in and throw me for a loop. But what if we could change how we look at change? I know that sounds funny but it truly can transform our lives. One of my favorite spiritual teachers Dr. Wayne Dyer said, “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

In the recent months, I have experienced the following big changes in my life. One: A second miscarriage, two: deciding to move back to my home in Utah, three: selling a house, four: changing a job (my husband and myself), five: buying a new house, six: getting mentally and physically healthy. I could go on with smaller items but the ones above have had the biggest affect.

Mental and physical change

Earlier in the 2016 year I experienced my second miscarriage. (read about it here) Going through this change was a huge eye opener, it made me realize the things that I had control over and the things I did not control. During this process, I had to learn to let go and trust the process of life. I was ready to move forward and into the next adventure but I still had physical reminders of the loss. Being 38 my body doesn’t bounce back like it used to in my 20’s and I was trying to drudge up the energy to work out and eat healthy. The director of my studio introduced me to a great medium of health and wellness. Being a skeptic it took me a bit to realize how much it was helping me, I’ve never been one to believe there is a magic pill to make everything better. She introduced me to a great product in which I am now a passionate distributor for now. (read about AdvoCare) It has helped me so much that I feel it is important to share my story with my readers and share the product with you as well. Because of being pregnant my body gained about 8 pounds in the 9 weeks before my miscarriage. Normally I fluctuate a little with my weight and it has been okay, but the weight gain was substantially harder for me emotionally as well as physically. I felt as though I had a reason that I gained weight but couldn’t talk about it without breaking into tears because of the loss. This made losing the weight so much more difficult for me because there was such an emotional attachment. This medium assisted me in getting my control back, well at least control over the things I could.

The biggest transformation for me was getting my energy back up, being healthy and not letting my energy levels and eating habits control me. The product did this for me. It filled my nutritional gaps, which were causing me to overeat and have low energy. I can now say I have control over my energy, food, mental and physical well-being. I am so passionate about what it has done for me I absolutely must share. (Read about AdvoCare and contact me for more info)

Our move back to Utah!

Recently I have been blessed to be able to move back to my home in Utah! It was not the easiest process. It happened extremely fast, we found out about a job opportunity and were moved within 2 months. This included selling the house, finding a temporary apartment, driving 15 hours with 2 kitties and now buying a new wonderful house! All of which I am extremely thankful for. However, during this process, I had a few melt downs.

Some things I learned in this process were:

To trust that things are going to move forward even if you feel like they are standing still.
Quit trying to control things out of your control such as other people or the weather. (P.S it rained for most of the 15-hour drive UGH.!)
Know that you are strong enough to get through this
What’s the worst thing that can happen? (Courtesy of my mom)
Focus on this moment right now instead of worrying about the future

These were all things that I did during this process and I had to stop and remind myself frequently. When I did this, the big change we were embarking on seemed more manageable. Now, don’t get me wrong I am not perfect at all! I had to freak the heck out to come to these realizations, but hey we are all human right and it’s okay to have these moments. The key is how you get through them and learning to get better at it. Needless to say, I SURVIVED!!!

I leave you with the quote from Dr. Wayne Dyer again, because the more we do or hear something, the more it becomes a habit.

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” -Dr. Wayne Dyer

Journeying Through Miscarriage

May 11, 20166 Comments

Miscarriage seems to be this taboo subject, one in which we are not allowed to talk about. As if it is this mysterious secret. Well, I would like to speak openly about the subject because I have recent personal experience in the matter. Over the past two years, I have experienced two miscarriages, one in which (as of this post) I am still recovering from. In light of my experience I have learned a lot of information that I wish I would have known beforehand, more education on the subject should be provided to women, even young ladies, it’s not too early to learn about the natural functions of your body. With my experience I was walking in the dark, feeling afraid of the outcome and fear of what it would mean for me. What if I can’t be a mom? Why do I place all of my worth on only being a mother? Now don’t get me wrong, I LOVE to take care of people, animals, etc…I think it’s just inherent in me, but not all women feel the same, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. It’s time for us to realize it’s okay if we do not become a mother, our life has so much to offer and we should celebrate any path we take.

My journey to motherhood is still in process and I have no control over the outcome, but I do have control over how I can help other women who may be going through a similar situation. For that reason, I would like to share some of the things I wish I would have known beforehand.

ONE: Once you decide to start your journey to motherhood learn about everything, including miscarriage Miscarriage Facts . Don’t be afraid to look at all the possible outcomes. This is where my downfall was, I refused to think it might be a possibility for me and told myself I should just be positive. This thought process was a double edge sword for me, it not only left me uneducated but it made me feel even more broken when I miscarried…twice. Being confident in your body’s ability is a good thing but so is being educated about both sides, successful pregnancy and miscarriage.

TWO: Do not try to handle it on your own!!! I mean it! Pregnancy Loss/Support I did this the first time around and only leaned on my husband. I’m not saying my husband was not amazing during the whole process but having a women’s perspective is very different. Women relate to each other completely differently, because well… we are women and we know and understand how our bodies work. During my recent miscarriage I made the choice, to let my family and close friends know that I was pregnant and then when I miscarried. Although, it was still not easy to relay the news, it helped to be able to talk to them and work through the emotions of it all. Being able to talk about the experience has provided the outlet I needed to move through the experience much easier and healthier. Decide on your support network and let them in!!!

THREE: Realize you don’t have control over this one and regardless of the outcome whether you become a mother or not, it does not make you any less of a person. Don’t lose who you are, try not to put everything you are into becoming a mother (even though I know how hard it is not to focus on it). Enjoy the person that you are now, don’t lose sight of your other passions. Enjoy your life and live in the moment, spend time with your significant other, or your fur babies. Try not to make it such a focus you lose sight of the happiness in your life. Keep on living!

FOUR: I had to realize that it might not be possible for me to have my own children, but there are other options out there. It was really hard for me to face this fact, but once I did I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders. When all is said and done, there is opportunity to foster children Foster Care and adopt Adoption . Now these two things felt very daunting to me, because the processes seemed so complex. BUT I realized there is always a way to get where you want to be and it was possible. So many children are put into situations beyond their control and need to be put into loving homes. Thinking of this fact, made me feel hopeful regardless of what my outcome will be. Being open to fostering or adoption helped me realize if I really needed to be a mother I could.

Being a mother is not the only thing women can do! We can focus on our career and travel the world and traveling is such an amazing experience! I have been fortunate enough to travel to many places and would be completely content traveling and experiencing life. I also teach, which is very rewarding and I get to teach some pretty amazing kids. Really the sky is the limit to what we are capable of.

For now, I’m re-centering my energy on living in the moment and enjoying the things I do have in my life. Enjoying my time with my husband, fur babies, teaching ballet and now that the sun is starting to stick around longer, long hikes and walks. My hope in writing this experience is my experience can help someone feel less alone, as miscarriage is pretty common. Let’s all start talking about it more and be a support for each other. Life struggles are hard but not so daunting if you know there is an outlet for you. Take the time to focus more fully in the moment to enjoy your beautiful life!

4 Easy Steps To Change Toxic Thinking Patterns

April 19, 20164 Comments

In my youth I found myself having to grow up at a very young age (fifteen to be exact), because of circumstances beyond my control. During this time, I moved around A LOT, living with friends and family off and on. I found myself scrambling to finish high school. Now, I did not lack motivation to go to school, but instead I was missing my support network to get me there. But, despite all of these road blocks, I was able to get myself through this time in my life with little help. I look back now and wonder how in the world I got through it. I see my younger self in survival mode, somewhere I had the will and the motivation to not let my situation get me down.

When faced with adversity, how do we respond? Why do we respond the way we do? As an adult these questions have been in the forefront of my mind, I have spent years soul searching and discovering who I truly am. The person I have become is pretty solid, and without my past experiences I would not be the person I am, for this I am thankful. We all have family, and sometimes it’s great, sometimes it’s not so great. But, even with all of my family struggles, positivity and motivation were instilled in me. Regardless of the troubles we had, I remember my mom teaching me the power of positive thoughts and believing in my abilities.

What has stuck with me most is the value of positive thinking. Our thoughts are so powerful; they are an untapped source for us as human beings and are being underutilized. If it weren’t for this core value being instilled in me at an early age, I would not have been able to get myself to driver’s ed classes on my own by riding my bike there, or find a way to continue dancing by teaching classes so I could pay for my own dance classes. All of these things I listed above I did from the age of 15 to 17 years old, mostly on my own.

Another influence for me, was ballet. Learning the discipline of ballet taught me how to work hard, be patient and believe in my abilities. I am grateful to be able to teach ballet today and I am more passionate than ever! It brings me great joy to be able to bring the positive aspects which ballet Benefits of Ballet has to offer to my students. Learning any kind of discipline Self Discipline provides so many benefits!

Our thinking as a society is distracted, stressed, confused, sad, anxious…the list could go on and on.

But we have a choice…

We have the choice to choose our thoughts, we are in control of the thoughts coming into our mind, which means, we can change them. Change Negative Thinking We can choose to redirect our thoughts to peace, happiness, meditation, joy, love, laughter!!! Keeping our old thinking patterns is so stressful! Let’s change them! No more excuses, learn to be in control of what you think.

We place so much emphasis on our physical body and forget about what goes on inside…we forget about our mental health. Mental health as human beings is just as important as our physical health. The effects of anxiety and stress How Worrying Affects Your Body are often unseen symptoms and can wreak havoc on our bodies.

“I think therefore I am”-Renee Descartes Renee Descartes

Over the years I have found some easy ways to pay attention to my thoughts. Now, I am no expert, I only speak from my own trial and error. Start loving your mind and nurturing it the same way you nurture your body. There are so many benefits of positive thinking and cognitive therapy. It’s time we get rid of the stigma that comes along with our mental health. Our thoughts will always be a part of who we are. Nurture and love your whole body including the unseen elements of the mind.

Here are 4 simple steps I have found to track and change habitual thinking patterns.

1. Keep A Daily Thought Log– It may be as simple as an app on your phone or if you like writing on a tangible thing like a small notebook, go for it! There are some great cognitive therapy sites Cognitive Therapy with wonderful information on how to record thoughts. Recording thoughts will help you catch any habitual thinking patterns and triggers.

2. Watch For Patterns & Triggers– Now that you are keeping a log of your thoughts, it will be easier for you see patterns arise or situations which trigger a certain thought response. Being able to identify these thoughts Change Toxic Thinking brings an awareness to them which prompts the change in your thinking.

3. Record Your Body Response– Also, with logging thoughts, you will be able to see how your body responds to a negative thought process, or even a happy one. I was amazed at how much my thoughts were affecting me. When a thought came into my mind which caused anxiety, I immediately noticed a response in my body. Once I started to identify the thoughts and situations causing my body to respond, I was able to form better thinking habits. As a result, this change prevented my thoughts from taking over how my body was feeling.

4. Replace The Old Negative Thoughts With New Positive Thoughts! – This is actually harder than it sounds. When you are able to identify the habitual thinking patterns causing you grief (from your thought log) start to replace the habitual thoughts with new positive thoughts.

Write them down!!!

I know this seems daunting but writing them down will expedite the process of changing your thought patterns. You can write them on a little note card and keep them in your purse or pocket for instant thought transformation. Or you can put them in your phone, whichever is easiest for you!

I am challenging my readers to try this for one week. Find your habitual thinking patterns holding you back and keeping you from happiness or even purpose. Our mind is a very powerful thing, but it is OUR mind, which means we are in control of what comes and goes.

Stop…slow down…pay attention…and love yourself.

Create the joy and happiness in your life by re-creating your thoughts! Happy thinking!!!

5 Ways To Redirect Anxious Thoughts

April 6, 2016Leave a comment

Today, with the daily stressors of work and other obligations, anxiety seems to be on the rise. Speaking from first-hand experience, I personally experienced anxiety from a very young age and I have found it has amplified as I have gotten older because of the added stress in my life.

Dealing with anxiety has been debilitating for me at times and has affected my life in many ways. But, with these experiences I have also found ways to redirect my thoughts before they spin into a crazy anxious black hole! Aaaah! Save me! Use these tips to stop your anxiety monster in its tracks!

Now is the time to take control of your thoughts and mind so you can live blissfully in the beautiful life you have been given. Don’t waste another minute caught up in a reality which only exists in your mind. Learn to make your thoughts work for you not the other way around. Try these 5 ways to redirect your thoughts as they come up.

1. Breathe…Be In The Moment: One of the easiest ways to redirect anxious thoughts is to just stop and focus on the task you are doing. Take a few deep breathes and enjoy the moment. For example, if you are washing your hands, pay attention to how the water feels or the sounds of the water.

By doing this, you are focusing the brains attention on to something else and changing the thoughts coming into your head. If you find yourself coming back to the anxious thoughts, bring your focus back to the current task you are doing. It may take you a couple of times to bring your thoughts into the moment, but if you are consistent you will find it works.

2. 5 Minute Mini Meditation: If you’re somewhere you can break away for five minutes to do a mini meditation this can be extremely beneficial in reeling in your anxiety monster. Step outside, go into your car or if you are home find a peaceful place in your house to relax and meditate.

My favorite meditation has to do with chakras. Sit or lay in a comfortable position and imagine a white light coming through your body starting at the crown and all the way down to the toes. This meditation helps to release any stuck energy and relaxes the anxious mind. You can go through all the chakra colors if you have more time. (see image below for colors) I have received many benefits from this meditation and I find it to be fairly easy to practice.

3. Journal: Writing down your thoughts is one of the best ways to get the them out there so you can waive them goodbye. Perhaps you may find a solution to the problem causing the anxiety. If you can visualize it on paper it becomes much easier to navigate a way beyond the anxiety.

Find yourself a specific anxiety journal. Having a specific tool to use makes writing the thoughts down as they come much easier. Writing your thoughts as they come will get the stuck energy out of your head and on to the paper, releasing the stress from your body.

4. Get Outside! Step outside, breathe in the fresh air and appreciate the beauty surrounding you. When you are out in nature it gives you time to appreciate the extraordinary beauty of life. Find gratitude for the life you have been given. If you approach your day with a grateful heart, it can immediately change how your thoughts arise.

Pay attention to the flowers, trees, water, animals…appreciate the simple existence of them. You’ll find it calms your thoughts and heart by bringing peace into your being.

5. Call A Family Member Or Friend: Reaching out to someone you trust for guidance always helps put things into perspective. A close family member or friend can also help you identify the thinking causing you stress and offer solutions to the problem. Communicating is part of our nature and we as human beings live to be connected to each other.

If you are anything like me, you enjoy helping your family and friends. Connecting and resolving issues can make a relationship even stronger than it was before. Don’t feel like you need to isolate yourself and solve everything on your own. Let your support network step in and lighten the load you carry.

Shape your thoughts and your life any way you dream of; you are in charge of your thoughts. Take charge and rule your thoughts don’t let them rule you. Once you have mastered redirecting thought patterns you will see your life start to change.

Now, I’m not saying the change will be quick or easy, but if you are consistently observing what pops up in your mind and replacing anxiety ridden thoughts with proactive thinking, eventually the habit of redirecting will become second nature. Speaking from experience, I know these tools work. However, consistency is key. If you find yourself caught up in a whirlwind of anxious thinking remember these 5 tools and utilize them. Find which one works best for you, it may be one or a combination of all. The sky’s the limit!

Perfectionism-The Down-sides And How To Overcome Them

March 20, 2016Leave a comment

We all want to succeed in the goals we take on, to finish what we start, obtain recognition for those goals and reap the rewards of a job well done. When, however, does the need to complete these goals in a completely perfect manor impede on our success?

Perfectionism is something I have struggled with my whole life. I felt if something was not done perfectly I had failed. It caused me to miss or pass up important opportunities or not complete something I had started. As a ballet dancer, my perfectionist belief system only became stronger, because as a ballet dancer you strive for perfection. Now I’m not saying being a perfectionist as a dancer is a bad thing, in the case of ballet it was good. However, the perfectionist belief in regards to other parts of life can have debilitating effects.

The Down-sides And How To Overcome Them

Pressure and stress– A perfectionist is constantly feeling pressure to be the best. The body then responds by producing stress hormone. When we are stressed we become anxious and can even feel sick. The perfectionist feels if a goal isn’t perfect then it is not good enough and they should not do it at all.

Afraid of failing– Fear of failing is a perfectionist’s constant companion. To a perfectionist, anything less than being the best is considered a failure. Being afraid of failure can cause a perfectionist to not even pursue a goal or lead to procrastination, the next downside.

Procrastination– Now you wouldn’t think perfectionism and procrastination would go hand and hand. I myself have experienced this on numerous occasions. If I felt a project I was doing was less than perfect it would bring the old “fear of failure” into my mind, I would freeze and start having self-doubt, potentially giving up on the project all together for fear that I was not good enough.

Self-Doubt– As a perfectionist puts so much pressure on themselves to be so perfect, their self-esteem takes a dive and they become overly critical of everything they are doing. The inner critic, compounded with the pressure, fear of failure and procrastination puts a screeching halt to the completion of their goals. We as human beings need goals and purpose in order to feel fulfilled. Not having the sense of purpose can cause us to go down the hole of depression. Perfectionism Can Lead To Imperfect Health

Tools to overcome

Awareness– One of the best ways to start overcoming the traits above is to become aware. Pay attention to your actions and thoughts throughout the day. By just being aware, your brain starts to pay attention and begins reprogramming the perfectionist beliefs. Awareness, is the key to getting started on overcoming your perfectionist nature. Quiz: Are You A Perfectionist?

Identifying perfectionist traits-Find out the traits you struggle with the most. You may find out some of the perfectionist traits are not so bad, but others are causing counterproductive results. Learning to spot your traits as they come up will help you to work through them and reach your goals more productively. As you get better at spotting your traits, the stress and fear accompanying them will start to fade. Perfectionist Traits: Do These Sound Familiar?

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”-Dr. Wayne Dyer– By changing your thought patterns and the way you perceive your goals, you’ll find those old perfectionist traits are beginning to melt away. Now, in my experience, this takes some time, so don’t be hard on yourself. Allow yourself to learn at your own pace and be patient. Undoing months or years of certain thought patterns takes time, know this fact and just try to allow some space for yourself to learn. (You don’t have to be perfect at overcoming perfectionism). Dr. Wayne Dyer

Give failing a try-Practice failing at something or at the very least try something you know you’re not good at. You know how the saying goes, to conquer a fear you must face it. Same concept here, you’ll soon find out it’s not as bad as you think it is. Your brain will start to say “thanks stress hormone, but failing at this wasn’t so bad, so I’m good”. Some of my biggest failures have ended up being blessings in disguise.

Almost Perfect Is Good Enough!

Have you ever heard the saying imperfection is perfection? It reminds us that imperfections are beautiful, it’s what makes us unique. People always view themselves differently than everyone else. Keep this in mind when you find yourself being overly critical. With media producing such unrealistic ideas it can be hard for us to feel we meet up to those standards. Remember what makes you unique, focus on the positive traits you possess and strive to be a high achiever but realize it’s okay if it’s not perfect. Sometimes the imperfection is what makes it great!