We all want to succeed in the goals we take on, to finish what we start, obtain recognition for those goals and reap the rewards of a job well done. When, however, does the need to complete these goals in a completely perfect manor impede on our success?
Perfectionism is something I have struggled with my whole life. I felt if something was not done perfectly I had failed. It caused me to miss or pass up important opportunities or not complete something I had started. As a ballet dancer, my perfectionist belief system only became stronger, because as a ballet dancer you strive for perfection. Now I’m not saying being a perfectionist as a dancer is a bad thing, in the case of ballet it was good. However, the perfectionist belief in regards to other parts of life can have debilitating effects.
The Down-sides And How To Overcome Them
Pressure and stress– A perfectionist is constantly feeling pressure to be the best. The body then responds by producing stress hormone. When we are stressed we become anxious and can even feel sick. The perfectionist feels if a goal isn’t perfect then it is not good enough and they should not do it at all.
Afraid of failing– Fear of failing is a perfectionist’s constant companion. To a perfectionist, anything less than being the best is considered a failure. Being afraid of failure can cause a perfectionist to not even pursue a goal or lead to procrastination, the next downside.
Procrastination– Now you wouldn’t think perfectionism and procrastination would go hand and hand. I myself have experienced this on numerous occasions. If I felt a project I was doing was less than perfect it would bring the old “fear of failure” into my mind, I would freeze and start having self-doubt, potentially giving up on the project all together for fear that I was not good enough.
Self-Doubt– As a perfectionist puts so much pressure on themselves to be so perfect, their self-esteem takes a dive and they become overly critical of everything they are doing. The inner critic, compounded with the pressure, fear of failure and procrastination puts a screeching halt to the completion of their goals. We as human beings need goals and purpose in order to feel fulfilled. Not having the sense of purpose can cause us to go down the hole of depression. Perfectionism Can Lead To Imperfect Health
Tools to overcome
Awareness– One of the best ways to start overcoming the traits above is to become aware. Pay attention to your actions and thoughts throughout the day. By just being aware, your brain starts to pay attention and begins reprogramming the perfectionist beliefs. Awareness, is the key to getting started on overcoming your perfectionist nature. Quiz: Are You A Perfectionist?
Identifying perfectionist traits-Find out the traits you struggle with the most. You may find out some of the perfectionist traits are not so bad, but others are causing counterproductive results. Learning to spot your traits as they come up will help you to work through them and reach your goals more productively. As you get better at spotting your traits, the stress and fear accompanying them will start to fade. Perfectionist Traits: Do These Sound Familiar?
“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”-Dr. Wayne Dyer– By changing your thought patterns and the way you perceive your goals, you’ll find those old perfectionist traits are beginning to melt away. Now, in my experience, this takes some time, so don’t be hard on yourself. Allow yourself to learn at your own pace and be patient. Undoing months or years of certain thought patterns takes time, know this fact and just try to allow some space for yourself to learn. (You don’t have to be perfect at overcoming perfectionism). Dr. Wayne Dyer
Give failing a try-Practice failing at something or at the very least try something you know you’re not good at. You know how the saying goes, to conquer a fear you must face it. Same concept here, you’ll soon find out it’s not as bad as you think it is. Your brain will start to say “thanks stress hormone, but failing at this wasn’t so bad, so I’m good”. Some of my biggest failures have ended up being blessings in disguise.
Almost Perfect Is Good Enough!
Have you ever heard the saying imperfection is perfection? It reminds us that imperfections are beautiful, it’s what makes us unique. People always view themselves differently than everyone else. Keep this in mind when you find yourself being overly critical. With media producing such unrealistic ideas it can be hard for us to feel we meet up to those standards. Remember what makes you unique, focus on the positive traits you possess and strive to be a high achiever but realize it’s okay if it’s not perfect. Sometimes the imperfection is what makes it great!
The Graceful Soul 