Miscarriage seems to be this taboo subject, one in which we are not allowed to talk about. As if it is this mysterious secret. Well, I would like to speak openly about the subject because I have recent personal experience in the matter. Over the past two years, I have experienced two miscarriages, one in  which (as of this post) I am still recovering from. In light of my experience I have learned a lot of information that I wish I would have known beforehand, more education on the subject should be provided to women, even young ladies, it’s not too early to learn about the natural functions of your body. With my experience I was walking in the dark, feeling afraid of the outcome and fear of what it would mean for me. What if I can’t be a mom? Why do I place all of my worth on only being a mother? Now don’t get me wrong, I LOVE to take care of people, animals, etc…I think it’s just inherent in me, but not all women feel the same, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. It’s time for us to realize it’s okay if we do not become a mother, our life has so much to offer and we should celebrate any path we take.

My journey to motherhood is still in process and I have no control over the outcome, but I do have control over how I can help other women who may be going through a similar situation. For that reason, I would like to share some of the things I wish I would have known beforehand.

ONE: Once you decide to start your journey to motherhood learn about everything, including miscarriage Miscarriage Facts . Don’t be afraid to look at all the possible outcomes. This is where my downfall was, I refused to think it might be a possibility for me and told myself I should just be positive. This thought process was a double edge sword for me, it not only left me uneducated but it made me feel even more broken when I miscarried…twice. Being confident in your body’s ability is a good thing but so is being educated about both sides, successful pregnancy and miscarriage.

TWO: Do not try to handle it on your own!!! I mean it! Pregnancy Loss/Support I did this the first time around and only leaned on my husband. I’m not saying my husband was not amazing during the whole process but having a women’s perspective is very different. Women relate to each other completely differently, because well… we are women and we know and understand how our bodies work. During my recent miscarriage I made the choice, to let my family and close friends know that I was pregnant and then when I miscarried. Although, it was still not easy to relay the news, it helped to be able to talk to them and work through the emotions of it all. Being able to talk about the experience has provided the outlet I needed to move through the experience much easier and healthier. Decide on your support network and let them in!!!

THREE: Realize you don’t have control over this one and regardless of the outcome whether you become a mother or not, it does not make you any less of a person. Don’t lose who you are, try not to put everything you are into becoming a mother (even though I know how hard it is not to focus on it). Enjoy the person that you are now, don’t lose sight of your other passions. Enjoy your life and live in the moment, spend time with your significant other, or your fur babies. Try not to make it such a focus you lose sight of the happiness in your life. Keep on living!

FOUR: I had to realize that it might not be possible for me to have my own children, but there are other options out there. It was really hard for me to face this fact, but once I did I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders. When all is said and done, there is opportunity to foster children Foster Care and adopt Adoption  . Now these two things felt very daunting to me, because the processes seemed so complex. BUT I realized there is always a way to get where you want to be and it was possible. So many children are put into situations beyond their control and need to be put into loving homes. Thinking of this fact, made me feel hopeful regardless of what my outcome will be. Being open to fostering or adoption helped me realize if I really needed to be a mother I could.

Being a mother is not the only thing women can do! We can focus on our career and travel the world and traveling is such an amazing experience! I have been fortunate enough to travel to many places and would be completely content traveling and experiencing life. I also teach, which is very rewarding and I get to teach some pretty amazing kids. Really the sky is the limit to what we are capable of.

For now, I’m re-centering my energy on living in the moment and enjoying the things I do have in my life. Enjoying my time with my husband, fur babies, teaching ballet and now that the sun is starting to stick around longer, long hikes and walks. My hope in writing this experience is my experience can help someone feel less alone, as miscarriage is pretty common. Let’s all start talking about it more and be a support for each other. Life struggles are hard but not so daunting if you know there is an outlet for you. Take the time to focus more fully in the moment to enjoy your beautiful life!